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When you meet the person that you feel is the love of your life, doesn’t the sun shine more brightly? The woes of the world lessen and fade back into the mists that surround everything except that person and you? And if that same person should depart, the opposite happens and as you slide into a puddle on the floor you ask “Why me? Why did he/she hurt me so?”
What can we learn from this?
The one thing that I have found to be consistent in my research of synastry (the interaction of the astrological charts of different people) is the seeming inevitability of meeting a certain type of person at different stages of your life. This is not the same for everyone, as we all start with different natal charts, and therefore timing cycles. What we do about that meeting, or person, is of course our own choice.
The seventh house in a chart represents other people in the broadest sense. It can be a romantic association, a marriage, a business partner or even an open enemy (hidden enemies are more 12th house). The sign on the Descendant, the cusp of the 7th house, often shows the type of person we are attracted to, or are attracted to us.
Every astrology chart contains opposites, and they are a very interesting part of understanding our own charts. For relationships, the first house (self) is opposite the 7th house (relationships). The cusp of the 1st house is called the Ascendant, and indicates how we represent ourselves to the world. To complete the balance, we are often drawn to people who have a lot of the energies of the opposite sign (not necessarily their Sun sign), the one on our own Descendant, as they represent qualities within ourselves that may need attention.
So if your Ascendant, for example is Leo, then your Descendant will be in Aquarius, and you will probably attract the weird and wonderful, different type of person that Aquarian energy brings. Aquarius is more concerned with the big picture for humanity, whereas Leo can be more self-involved, hence the balance of opposites.
I have also noted that significant relationships often have some kind of strong connection between the Nodes in a chart, and transits of the nodes. This can be the North Node of one person conjuncting (being at a similar degree) as a planet of the second person, with the Node person arriving to help the planet person. These relationships can be profound, as if you work with the energies involved, whole new areas of life can be opened up, as the Nodes overall represent life direction.
A connection between the south node of one person and a planet of the other person is an indicator of past associations and karma, good or bad, to be resolved. For example I had a friend whose Leo Moon was at the same degree as my Leo south node and we not only had an instant rapport but a feeling of always having known and cared for each other. There was a mutually nurturing feeling (her Moon), a safeness and care that was very needed at that time in my life, and she fostered the creative (Leo) abilities I had, and I did the same for her. She was in my life for a short period, yet it is one I will never forget and thank the powers that be for bringing us together when we needed to be. A south node connection can also be very challenging, so it depends on the circumstances.
The timing of significant relationships can also be particularly associated with the transits of Chiron and Saturn. In fact there are many transits that bring people into our lives, be it Neptune and the dream love, Uranus and the electric fascination, Pluto and the transforming obsessions and so on. An astrologer can help to understand the cycles and the timing, as there are many factors involved.
However, there is something that you can do right now to better understand why you meet the people you meet.
Think about someone that you have really admired, respected or loved. What were their qualities and attitudes? Was it their strength, their passion, clear thinking, manner of working or sense of honour? Make a list.
Then think about how you feel about those very qualities within yourself.
Being very honest, you will no doubt find that these are areas of your own life that may need attention in some way. For example, that lover who gave you a sense of being nurtured and safe was probably reflecting your own anxieties about being able to look after yourself at that time. That’s not to say there is anything wrong with feeling loved and safe with someone, of course not! It is just that if the balance goes astray between our individuality and ability to nurture ourselves, and what we expect from another person, if the relationship fails it can be devastating.
The idea is to become aware of any expectations and needs we have that are fulfilled by the relationship. Then learn the lessons that this person bring to you, for example, if you admire their strength, then study it and foster your own strength. If you feel that the other person in the relationship is holding the ‘power’, then look to your own personal power and consider why you may be giving it away to someone else.
If you have a track record of attracting abusive relationships, the same thing applies. It is a fact in this world that one tends to attract the very things we fear, and have reflected back at us the inner challenges that we need to face, by way of other people. What is important is not what we feel people do TO us, but what we do to them, because it all goes back to how we feel about ourselves. Sort of “what goes around, comes around”, the karmic cycle.
If you feel that everyone is awful to you, then the metaphysical question is “what part of this have I created, what responsibility is mine?”. And it is VERY important that it doesn’t become a personal pity party about how bad you are – it is about recognizing causes within ourselves and calmly doing something to change so it doesn’t keep happening. Then we will no longer attract people to bring those lessons home to us!
Life is mostly about relationships, the needs we have, our daily interaction with others and the necessary boundaries we must learn about and draw in the sand. And in order to understand our relationships, we must first understand ourselves. Astrology can be a tremendous help to recognising the significance of the timing of relationships and what we can learn and contribute to them.
The bottom line is – honour your own abilities, your awareness, your gifts. The more you do this, the more you will find that you attract people into your life that do the same.